"That's your biggest problem as a pitcher, Freddie. You need a stone face of your own. You don't look nearly fierce enough, standing out there looking in toward the plate." It's just an act," I told him. "In real life, I'm your basic white-bread version of Bob Gibson -- mean and nasty. I just put on this phony milquetoast display out on the mound to fool the hitters." Well, it's working," Bill said, laughing.­­­­­­­­­­­­­­--Bill had to take a trip out of state the last week of September. It was one of those Hot Stove League things, where old ballplayers are invited to show up and make a little speech, and then spend a couple of hours telling war stories to a group of fans with long memories. It was a reliable source of income for former players, although as far as I could make out, Bill Bowman wasn't exactly hurting for spare change.I talked about it briefly with Betsy, and got her take on it. "He doesn't really need the money; he does it mostly because he just enjoys schmoozing with. .. this didn't even include all the times hefucked Angela... and you LET HIM! You are not guilty ofdoing anything. You are guilty of doing NOTHING, when youshould have," I was trembling.I inhaled and exhaled, relaxing."Now, the wine or the knife." I offered softly."The wine," she conceded, apparently accepting her fate.I made sure she drank it all. Once the deed was done, Ireplaced the gag."Somewhere in me, I still love you, mom. But this shit hasgone on long enough. Someone has to stop this," I told her.I watched her eyes, looking at me, then fighting to stayfocused. Finally, the eyelids slide shut. Goodnightmother... rest in peace.I returned my attentions on Andy. He was snoring, so atleast he was still alive."Please... don't kill him." I heard from the living room.I walked over to where I'd dragged Mary's chair. She'dworked the gag out of her mouth. I moved to replace it."No... please, listen," she began.I paused and looked in her eyes, the eyes of the jock thathad looked at me.
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